He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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