TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
