I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
