Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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