Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
