We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
