my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
