I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
