come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
