Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She announced her abortion via fbk
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
