just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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