dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize