my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
