Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
