Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
