Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
