i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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