Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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