Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize