How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
