Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
