I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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