last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
