Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Enjoy the penises
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
