So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
