Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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