Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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