I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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