Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
