Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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