Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
