Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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