So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize