We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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