playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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