i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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