he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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