Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
