...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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