dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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