I hate all girls vehemently.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
