If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
worst night to have a conscience
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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