Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize