i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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