Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
