Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
