i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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