if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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