even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
