Already got asked if we're dating
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize