Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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