He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
