What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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