After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
