Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
