Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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