omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
