I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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