my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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