im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
