i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
