Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
