I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
