This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
