how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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