Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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