He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
