Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
